Society says as young people we are lazy, naive, rebellious, and followers not leaders. The world does not expect much from us as young people and that has transferred over to the church. We are told we need to follow other's examples not be the examples. The bible has very different things to say, and I'm hoping as a young christian myself at 22 years old I can help other young Christians strive to be leaders not followers, to be servants not those who are served, to find worth in God's eyes not the world's eyes. 1 Timothy 4: 12 says, "Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity."



About me: My name is Caleb I am 22 years old and I recently graduated from Pepperdine University. I am not a young person who has been rejected by society so I am lashing out, quite the opposite. I found myself in college to be a part of the world, I drank, I partied, I went on spring break trips to Mexico, I was in a fraternity, I even modeled professionally in LA for a while. What I realized is that some where along the way I had succumbed to the World's expectations of what a college student should be and put God on the back burner. My mind set was that I had time to be a good Christian and an example when I was older, I realize now that there's no better time to serve God and be an example then the now. I have rededicated my life to Christ and helping young people do the same. I am a pseudo college intern at my church and can't wait to see the way God will challenge me.

 

Christian women want men not boys

1. A Christian woman wants a man, not a boy.

The Bible says that a Christian woman is God’s favor/blessing to a Christian man - Pr. 18:22, “The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives a favor from the Lord.”

A Christian woman has a lot to offer and is not about to waste it on a teenager in a man’s body. There’s a time to be a boy, and play with boy’s things and toys, but a Christian woman is not a play-thing! Joseph, Mary’s husband was such a man.

He loved her and wanted to marry her - nothing special there. But when Mary conceived in a miraculous way by the Holy Spirit and Joseph was told to marry her despite his hurt and confusion - this is where we discover the real man in Joseph.  He married her, accepted the child she carried, obeyed God and left his hometown and business to hide in Egypt in order to protect the child.  He even refrained from sexual intimacy with Mary while she carried the child.

We know he loved her when they first became engaged - but the man in him continued to love and care for her despite the “baggage” that came with her new circumstances. He knew what better, worse, or different meant.

You know, any “boy” can take a wife but it takes a man to take a wife along with all the things that a new wife brings into marriage. Christian women want a real man, not just a boy pretending to be a man.

2. Christian women want men who are both spiritual and manly.

David, Israel’s second king was a good example of this. He was a soldier, a leader, well trained in the ways of war and politics. He was very much grounded in this world and his place and role in it. Yet the Bible says that he was a man after God’s own heart (Acts 13:22).

  • He was able and eager to worship God.
  • He was willing to sacrifice for his faith.
  • He was ready to change, admit fault, weep for others, and humbled himself before God.
  • He was a man’s man but he maintained spiritual priorities.
  • He could direct a war and a nation but was first to lead his people to worship and serve the Lord.
  • He had tremendous spiritual insight even though he made terrible mistakes because of his human appetites and weaknesses.

A Christian woman wants a real man who is neither conflicted in his masculinity or ashamed of his faith and spirituality.  She wants a person who can be both a man able to make his way in the world and a spiritual leader in his own home and the church.  I suppose the women here today could add several more things to the list but let me mention just one more thing I believe Christian women want.

3. Christian women want men who will make them happy, not just make them laugh.

Humor is an attractive quality in men but it doesn’t guarantee happiness. In Solomon’s love poem “Song of Solomon” the Shulamite woman that Solomon is engaged to marry talks about the things that make a Godly woman happy:

A purified character

2 Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth—
   for your love is more delightful than wine.
3 Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes;
   your name is like perfume poured out.
   No wonder the young women love you!

The young woman compares Solomon’s character to the lovely fragrance of perfume that is experienced by others, not just herself. A man who is well thought of because of his integrity, goodness, kindness, and love by others is a joy to his wife.  A man whose character is continually purified from sin by God is a joy to his wife and a blessing to his community.

The ability to make a woman feel secure

5 Dark am I, yet lovely,
   daughters of Jerusalem,
dark like the tents of Kedar,
   like the tent curtains of Solomon.
6 Do not stare at me because I am dark,
   because I am darkened by the sun.

In this verse the Shulamite woman feels insecure about the way she looks compared to the other women at the Royal Court.  She’s a country girl with a dark tan compared to the white skinned rich girls at the palace.

In ch. 2:1 she feels better about herself using a term given to her by her beloved.

In ch. 2:16 she expresses the idea of possessiveness and assurance as her confidence grows.

In ch. 7:10 (READ), after they are married she is absolutely secure in the fact that she is the only one he loves.

A man who can’t or won’t make the effort to make his wife feel secure - can’t make her happy.  Christian women want men who desire to make them happy, not just men who desire them.  It’s one sure way to know if someone truly loves you and is “in love” - there is the desire to make the other happy before making yourself happy.


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