Society says as young people we are lazy, naive, rebellious, and followers not leaders. The world does not expect much from us as young people and that has transferred over to the church. We are told we need to follow other's examples not be the examples. The bible has very different things to say, and I'm hoping as a young christian myself at 22 years old I can help other young Christians strive to be leaders not followers, to be servants not those who are served, to find worth in God's eyes not the world's eyes. 1 Timothy 4: 12 says, "Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity."
About me: My name is Caleb I am 22 years old and I recently graduated from Pepperdine University. I am not a young person who has been rejected by society so I am lashing out, quite the opposite. I found myself in college to be a part of the world, I drank, I partied, I went on spring break trips to Mexico, I was in a fraternity, I even modeled professionally in LA for a while. What I realized is that some where along the way I had succumbed to the World's expectations of what a college student should be and put God on the back burner. My mind set was that I had time to be a good Christian and an example when I was older, I realize now that there's no better time to serve God and be an example then the now. I have rededicated my life to Christ and helping young people do the same. I am a pseudo college intern at my church and can't wait to see the way God will challenge me.
Catching Elephant is a theme by Andy Taylor
Christian women are taught to idealize and admire the Proverbs 31 woman and, hey, I get it. She is pretty awesome. She is not, however, the only example of a Godly woman in the Bible. A single Christian woman can have just as much impact in God’s Kingdom. We don’t view single Christian men as less-than, so why do we sometimes treat our sisters as such?
Instead, we should be offering our sisters grace, not condemnation, for choosing to be single or choosing to not have children. We should have a right understanding of scripture, too, knowing that marriage is not the ultimate goal, nor children the ultimate prize. A life devoted unto Christ, loving Him and loving others–that is the prize–Him and Him alone.
Lyrics from a worship song
I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I’m waiting I will serve You
While I’m waiting I will worship
While I’m waiting I will not faint
I’ll be running the race
Even while I wait.
While a woman is waiting to find the man of her dreams, she should not fall into a slump of misery. Her heart should be enlivened and she should grow deeper in her relationship with God. If she happens to fall in love with a man, oh how lucky that man will be to find a woman who is so devoted to living her life for the Lord. If she does not, that’s fine too, because her relationship with God is enough for her and provides the eternal fulfillment that no human relationship can.
When a woman’s eyes are solely focused on receiving the applause of Heaven, and no one or nothing else — not even the Church community, they will develop a different feeling about their singleness, one that is joyful rather than bitter.
I have been reading a lot of stuff on tumblr about girls being mad and frustrated about being single. So this is for the single Christian sisters, it’s a couple pieces of some articles I read today I hope you can be encouraged by it.
1. A Christian woman wants a man, not a boy. The Bible says that a Christian woman is God’s favor/blessing to a Christian man - Pr. 18:22, “The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives a favor from the Lord.” A Christian woman has a lot to offer and is not about to waste it on a teenager in a man’s body. There’s a time to be a boy, and play with boy’s things and toys, but a Christian woman is not a play-thing! Joseph, Mary’s husband was such a man. He loved her and wanted to marry her - nothing special there. But when Mary conceived in a miraculous way by the Holy Spirit and Joseph was told to marry her despite his hurt and confusion - this is where we discover the real man in Joseph. He married her, accepted the child she carried, obeyed God and left his hometown and business to hide in Egypt in order to protect the child. He even refrained from sexual intimacy with Mary while she carried the child. We know he loved her when they first became engaged - but the man in him continued to love and care for her despite the “baggage” that came with her new circumstances. He knew what better, worse, or different meant. You know, any “boy” can take a wife but it takes a man to take a wife along with all the things that a new wife brings into marriage. Christian women want a real man, not just a boy pretending to be a man. 2. Christian women want men who are both spiritual and manly. David, Israel’s second king was a good example of this. He was a soldier, a leader, well trained in the ways of war and politics. He was very much grounded in this world and his place and role in it. Yet the Bible says that he was a man after God’s own heart (Acts 13:22). A Christian woman wants a real man who is neither conflicted in his masculinity or ashamed of his faith and spirituality. She wants a person who can be both a man able to make his way in the world and a spiritual leader in his own home and the church. I suppose the women here today could add several more things to the list but let me mention just one more thing I believe Christian women want. 3. Christian women want men who will make them happy, not just make them laugh. Humor is an attractive quality in men but it doesn’t guarantee happiness. In Solomon’s love poem “Song of Solomon” the Shulamite woman that Solomon is engaged to marry talks about the things that make a Godly woman happy: A purified character 2 Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth— The young woman compares Solomon’s character to the lovely fragrance of perfume that is experienced by others, not just herself. A man who is well thought of because of his integrity, goodness, kindness, and love by others is a joy to his wife. A man whose character is continually purified from sin by God is a joy to his wife and a blessing to his community. The ability to make a woman feel secure 5 Dark am I, yet lovely, In this verse the Shulamite woman feels insecure about the way she looks compared to the other women at the Royal Court. She’s a country girl with a dark tan compared to the white skinned rich girls at the palace. In ch. 2:1 she feels better about herself using a term given to her by her beloved. In ch. 2:16 she expresses the idea of possessiveness and assurance as her confidence grows. In ch. 7:10 (READ), after they are married she is absolutely secure in the fact that she is the only one he loves. A man who can’t or won’t make the effort to make his wife feel secure - can’t make her happy. Christian women want men who desire to make them happy, not just men who desire them. It’s one sure way to know if someone truly loves you and is “in love” - there is the desire to make the other happy before making yourself happy.
for your love is more delightful than wine.
3 Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes;
your name is like perfume poured out.
No wonder the young women love you!
daughters of Jerusalem,
dark like the tents of Kedar,
like the tent curtains of Solomon.
6 Do not stare at me because I am dark,
because I am darkened by the sun.
1. Christian men want women who are really Christians.
One problem with many of today’s Christian women is that you can’t tell them apart from non-believing women.
A Christian man wants a woman who wears Christ, not Christian Dior.
In the Bible we have the story of Rebekah, a wonderful example of a beautiful woman who received a man based on her purity and goodness. When Abraham’s servant was sent to look for a wife for Abraham’s son Isaac, he was told that the woman who would be of service to him, a stranger in a foreign land, she would be the one.
Gen. 24:15 tells the story of when Abraham’s servant first encountered Rebekah.
(READ Gen. 24:15-20)
Note in this account that there is no mention of her clothes or her sense of style. Her genuine spiritual nature and kindness however shine through. After she returned to meet and eventually marry Isaac the Bible says that he immediately loved her.
Christian men know the difference between a woman acting like a Christian and a real Christian woman.
2. A Christian man wants a woman who knows how to be beautiful on the outside as well as on the inside.
Men are proud. As a matter of fact according to surveys about what men want - the #2 thing on their list is a woman whose looks they are proud of. You may not like this about men, and it may seem immature, but this is the way most men are.
The problem here however is that many women think that the way to produce this look is to continually concentrate on their exterior beauty. The secret here is that outer beauty begins on the inside and works its way out. Make-up and hairstyle only “highlight” the innate beauty that radiates from a Godly woman. Men want to “admire” their wives and when they boast about them to other men they rarely talk about their make-up or figure.
Their boasting and pride usually centers on the ongoing spiritual qualities that the women God’s blessed them with have - and how undeserving they are to have them. I’m saying this as a man who knows what men say when they talk about their girlfriends or wives. No matter what they look like (which is rarely mentioned) - they always talk about, boast about, and admire their woman’s inner beauty.
The best example of this kind of admiration is the husband who talks about his beloved wife in Pr. 31:10-31 (READ).
One last thing about men and what they want.
3. Christian men want women who can help them become better men.
A man’s life, physically and spiritually, is incomplete without an intimate relationship with a woman. Interesting to note that the Bible calls Eve a “helpmeet” (Gen. 2:18).
The Hebrew word here translated “helpmeet”/helper doesn’t mean helper, like an assistant or an employee. The original word “azar” meant helping someone in need. The same word is used to denote the idea of rescue (“Oh Lord be my helper” Ps. 30:10). The idea is that Eve was created to come to Adam’s rescue:
She enabled him to be a complete man. Men are still looking for this in women and Christian men in particular search for women who can help them fulfill their character in Christ.
The Bible is full of examples of such women:
Christian men need women who are strong enough in their own faith so they can build up what they are lacking in Christ. Any man who finds a woman who loves Christ more than she loves him has found a precious stone that will indeed enrich his life.
